The Possibility Curve

Well, I’ve found that over the last week I’ve been blocked, had breakthroughs, gotten stuck and unstuck more times than I can to remember. Each time I find a new way to move forward is exhilarating. Each setback the pits. It is difficult to not blame myself for not thinking harder or smarter. I often ask myself “What am I doing wrong?” And you know what everytime I do that I try to bite my tongue and quickly repeat, “I am perfect, it will all work out.”

This may sound Polyanna to you but rest assured my problems are not because I don’t work hard or smart. My problems inevitably seem to some from the fact I THINK TOO MUCH. Oh… how I wish I could turn off my brain and just flow. Usually I know the answer but I’m trying so damn hard that I block it myself. The key for me is to simply get out of my own way.

When I take off all the self-imposed pressure everything goes better. When I am not stressed I see more opportunities and I can act on synchronicity. When I am not driving hard for a goal it all seems to go easier and I’m more successful. It must have been drilled into me as a kid that nothing comes easy because I work so hard at everything.

At this very moment I’m in limbo. I thought I had a stroke of genius and redid my entire plot for my third or fourth storyboard only to see how it doesn’t work. I’ve connected with someone on line who has been an angel. He keeps telling me to go back to my original inspiration and no matter the plot stay true to the story. So as I type this I think I know just how I may be able to leave the newest plot and my original story. I think this may be what I’m looking for.

Why does all this have to be so hard?? Maybe it doesn’t.